Sunday, July 28, 2013

What's worse than your Laptop crashing when you have Hausarbeits to write

NOTHING!  So I've discovered.

This has by far been the absolute worst week here.

For three of my four classes, I had to write a Hausarbeit. Aka a term paper.
Guess how often Undergrad Math students have to write term papers....Did you answer: never. ?

Guess how many papers I have written in my lifetime that have been over 10 pages.... Did you answer none?

Guess how many 15 page term papers I've written as of this month.... Ok, I actually only had to write one in German, but it was horrible.

Allow me to elaborate. My professor told me on July 4th that I needed to turn in my paper (discussing the Geschichte der Fuersorgerinnen in Deutschland) by July 12th to get my grade before leaving on August 13th. She also felt the need to tell me (translated from German) "Don't have errors of I will have to take points off," which of course added to my sudden stress of acknowledging I would only have a week to write a paper I was not expecting to turn in for another month.

However, having the curse of a Hufflepuff, in 2 very very long days, I finished typing 18 pages + bibliography (in the extremely specific German style, with footnotes instead of parenthetical references- an extra aggrivation) and sent it off to my dear German friend Biddy.

I owe her a beer or two, or a whole nights worth of drinks. She spent 8 hours proofing everything. The most important and depressing thing I learned from this, was that I will never be good at German. Sure, for an American, people tell me I speak quite well, and my understanding of German grammar and language structure is fantastic, but my writing, as Biddy alluded to, is probably about that of a 6th grader. Her words were more along the lines of "if you're professor wanted your paper to sound like a native speaker wrote it, I would've had to rewrite everything."

I was so grateful that she saved me from failing that I made all the corrections (which last about 3 hours) or so I thought, and full of relief of being done, sent it off to my professor to be graded.

In the meantime, I started working on my other hausarbeit. Character Analysis of William Faulkner's Barn Burning was the second I wrote, for my American literature class--yep, went all the way to Germany to find that course. A special thanks to Emily Handy for proof reading that for me, and leaving suggestions in the blanks where I wrote "blahhhh, I need a concluding statement or transition and I've got nothin' " and I planned to turn it in the following week when I was on the stadtmitte campus, as my professor asked for a printed copy. 

Once more, super relief that it was 2 down and one to go.

The last was a term paper that I was both excited about and unmotivated to start. The topic was Chariot Racing in Ancient Olympia, and it was to be 10-15 pages. There were also 4 mini projects for the class (Olympia- Mythos, Kult, Politik) that were varying degrees of fun, totallying about 10-12 extra pages typed, and lots of hours researching in the library- analyzing latin inscriptions on stones and coins, and reading up on ancient historians. ...
 Anyway, I was about 1/3 of the way through typing this term paper on my lovely 6-month old laptop, when all of a sudden I noticed that all of my documents- except for the paper I was working on, were gone from the desktop. Not like I had accidentally highlighted them and sent them to the recycling bin, or somehow they had been hidden. Oh no. All of the 8 folders that were on my desk top were completely EMPTY.

EVERYTHING important to me, my finished Hausarbeits, my mini-projects that were in different stages of completion, a couple of my powerpoint presentations that were the basis for my hausarbeits, AND ... this is when I lost it: My wedding documents.
 Every single thing pertaining to my wedding that I had saved on my desk top, just poof, gone. No, not even a Poof. Just a silent blink, they're gone. I was skyping with Tyler when I realized I had lost my guest list, my budget, my photos of dress shopping, the information I'd collected about decorations, etc, and coupled with the fact that I had to re-do all 4 of my mini projects, I don't think Tyler has ever seen me more devastated.
 Worst time to be 4,500 miles away.
Because, did I mention, I had no back ups, the only place these were saved was on my desktop.

So I woke up Wednesday morning (this happened Tuesday night) exhausted, with red puffy eyes, and tried to find somewhere to take my computer in the hopes my documents could be recovered. I had a suspiscion it was a nasty virus, and didn't want to chance turning on my computer for fear that it would destroy something else. I had some luck in that the first place I went to, Media Markt, had a computer repair center. So I dropped of my laptop, and went to the school computer lab, arriving at 11am, to start re-writing everything for the remainder of the day. Luckily, my English paper was mostly available in the email from Emily after she added her comments and corrections, so I only needed a couple more hours to re-fix that essay. This time I emailed it to myself and printed out a version right away.
 For most of the afternoon, I worked on my Olympia paper, and was nearly finished at 6pm when I decided I would do all the boring parts- some transitions, some reorganizing, the official bibliography, and proof reading, the next day. So as I was emailing it to myself, I realized I had an email from my professor for my "Geschichte der Fuersorgerinnen" Paper.

It was not good.

I don't recall her exact words, not do I wish to. But she claimed that I sent her the wrong copy of my term paper because it had a lot of errors in it. ...She was giving me one more chance to send it in, but the next version better show that I had put a lot of work into my term paper if I wanted to get a grade from her. Otherwise, this paper was not good enough for her to accept.

My first thought was super embarrassment that I had sent her the file with Biddy's corrections and comments (which is horrible to look at because of all the red highlighting and 50+ comments, which when listened to would get me an A+ on any German paper at Purdue!)
And so I apologized two or three times in my email reply, and said I would get her the right version as soon as possible. ...Come to find out that the version I sent her WAS the corrected version.
Which, of course put me nearly to sobbing in the middle of the library computer lab.
I worked for 2 days straight, 12 hours a day to get the paper done in one week, with multiple hours of re-reading and correcting my errors, and here she was telling me it still wasn't good enough.

So two hours later, when I basically got kicked out at closing time from that computer lab, I took the train to the other half of campus to the computer lab that closed at 11, and spent the next 3.75 hours meticulously looking over every page. To be fair, there was about one error per page, such as writing "fuersorgerinnen" which should be a u with 2 dots over it as the second letter instead of the "ue" (for future reference, that's referred to as a 'u umlaut' )  or writing Arbeitpflegerinnen instead of Arbeitspflegerinnen. However, I've never had a professor--even in English-- that wouldn't except a paper with mistakes like this. Usually you get a lesser grade because of it, but to flat out refuse to accept it... it was a horrible feeling.

I haven't written anything in German since then. She has really broken my spirits and made me realize that as much as I try, I will never been able to write well in German. Which is sad, considering I've done extremely well in ever German class I've ever taken.

To add to my stress levels, PU told me there is nothing they can do to help me. Basically if she fails me for not being as good as a German speaker, that F goes on my transcript.  My only hope is that she doesn't get me my grade in time, and then PU can resort to having someone there grade it. But I have had just the shirrtiest luck lately, so that seems unlikely. The only good news is that no matter what I will still be getting my diploma, and can move out of this horrible realm of college.
...

So that was Tuesday. I can't explain how many times I wanted to give up, and not turn anything else in. But, I couldn't. Even though I wanted to, that's not who I am. (curse of a Hufflepuff)

Wedesday, Thursday, Friday = sitting in the computer lab from 11am to 8pm. Wed and Thurs I also went to the other lab again until they closed at 11pm.

And now I am finally done with these. (besides the proof reading- for which I am heavily relying on my brother's interest in history,  and Tyler's patience in reading my works)

With that, now you know why I can say that I have spent time in Germany and absolutely hated part of it. I have just over 2 weeks before I arrive home, and a trip to Munich planned! I'm thinking things will lighten up soon. I hope.

p.s. I don't have the desire to proof read anything right now. So I apologize if something does not make sense or is spelled really weirdly. Specifically y and z being switched. They keys are backwards on German keyboards.

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